Today when i came out of Tesco, I saw the strangest craft on the canal. It was a small GRP skiff with what looked like a giant mouth brace on it, with tubes of different colours going into the water.

The three men on it were working for CART, getting rid of invasive fish. They were electrofishing – sending current through the water to stun fish. They then scooped them all up. They throw the native fish back and put the invasive ones in a tank on the boat.

“What do you do with the invasive fish?”

“We have to kill them.”

“What are they?”

“Zander.”

Now I first heard of Zander (Sander lucioperca) from a swarthy, brooding Brummie boatbuilder 12 years ago. He had recommended them heartily for the plate. So, too, did these guys. So Zander, or Perch-pike, are not native British fish. They hail from mainland Europe. There, too, they are regarded highly as a food fish.

However, as large, voracious carnivores they are apparently chowing down on too many of our native canal fish such as perch, tench, and gudgeon. They were introduced illegally as a game fish (sport for fisher people) and have now muscled in on too much of the act.

Great, I thought. Time to do my bit for British biodiversity and satisfy my curiosity at the same time.

“Can I have one?”

A few moments later and out came my zander, coshed round the head and tipped into my rapidly repurposed plastic bag. It felt like a kilo at least. Now that’s what I call fresh fish.

Later, back at base, it was time to terrify my child. As i sawed the fillets off the fish with the sharpest knife I could find, the big spotted sail of the dorsal fin kept twitching out like a sail, and the side fins quivered slightly. I have to admit I was a bit freaked out.

“No, Mum! Put it back! It’s still alive!!”

“It’s been out of the water for 3 and a half hours child. It’s definitely dead. I mean, if you were under the water for 3.5 hours, you would definitely be dead too” I pointed out cheerfully.

Child subsides, mumbling, into a corner and turns on his iPad.

It’s time to cook.

Getting through the tough, slippery scales was by far the hardest part of this exercise in native diet.

You can fry, bake, grill or poach Zander’s tender white fillets. They are mild in flavour and have a firm texture. Add strong flavours like lemon, pepper, spices etc.

I chose to poach mine in oat mylk with sliced onions, bay leaves and peppercorns.

I simmered these for about 7 minutes, then scooped out the fillets. I made a roux with butter and flour and poured the leftover liquid into the roux til I made a white sauce.

I added lemon juice and parsley to the sauce 1 in before serving. I added the fish to a lentil veg stew I’d made earlier.

Quite frankly, the finished presentation leaves much to be desired, but it was all edible, fairly tasty, and hopefully hasn’t given me any lifelong friends or heavy metals in my intestinal tract.

Did my son eat any of this hearty local handmade nourishment? Of course not. He ate bread and butter and some sweets he had hidden in his schoolbag.

xx Hedgewitch Kat xx